So this week I got what was coming to me. I gained just over two pounds. Which isn't great, at all, but I honestly think I needed the reality check.
Sometimes you need the scale to go up just as a reminder that you if you do eat or drink anything in sight you will see it on the scale. Now all I need to do is take that realization and apply it to the rest of my week. Goodbye beer, hello fruit.
I'm still down 26 pounds, so I'm not going to let this gain upset me or set me back - I'm back now and stronger than ever.
On a related note, I've been having some big problems lately with body image. I know, deep down, that I look way different today than I did two years ago when I first started this weight loss adventure. But I still feel as heavy and, well fat, as ever (I hate to have to use the f-word).
I still find myself constantly comparing myself and evaluating the way I look in respect to others. I can always tell you if I'm the fattest person in the room and always wonder who else notices when its me. I'm always paying attention to how I'm sitting or standing - does one position make my tummy look big, do my thighs look enormous, do I have a muffin top?
I hate that I still feel this way. I always thought that once the weight came off, a lot of these issues would have gone away. But I'm still dealing with them, and having a harder time coping with them. If anyone out there has any advice in dealing with body image, send it my way, because I'm so sick of constantly feeling overweight and inadequate.