Thursday, July 15, 2010

Things I Hate About Summer

So one of my favorite bloggers, The Sassy Curmudgeon, posted a list like the other.  I had been thinking of my own list for a few days (when you see it you'll know why), but her post encouraged me to write my own.

If you'd like to check out Sassy's list, you can find it here.

Before I start, I would like to say that I do, honestly, love summer with all of my heart.  It is far and away my favorite season, but if I'm not kvetching I'm probably not breathing.  So please don't exile me for writing this, but do feel free to remind me of the things posted here when I start kvetching about the cold in January.

1.  Mosquitoes  - I have such a love/hate relationship with these little guys, as in they love me and I hate them with a fiery passion that consumes my soul.  My brother tells me that I'm the best bug repellent around - if I'm there, the mosquitoes annoy me and leave everyone else alone.   

They love my legs.*   And I don't handle itch well.  From the end of April into October, my legs look like I have a mild case of chicken pox.  Which I wouldn't mind, except they still itch, I still scratch and my legs wind up having more band aids on them than can be found in your kindergarten classroom.

*I just did a quick check, and I have at least five bites on the three inches of skin that can be classified as ankle.

2.  Humidity - One of the worst things about living in Southeastern Virginia is the humidity; well that and the fact that it will be 90+ degrees with 100% humidity for weeks on end.  The air is hot and heavy.  It either deflates or frizzes your hair and sometimes taking just a few steps outside can be enough to make you sweaty enough to NEED a shower (or it means that I am an unusually sweaty person).  

Either way, heat indexes that hover near 115 degrees are not fun.  I don't care how hot you like it, that is too hot.

I know, it makes me want to cry too

3.  Watermelon -  This one was on Sassy's list, but its so true.  I can't stand the stuff.  It doesn't live up to the hype.  Its not that sweet, its not that refreshing, and it leaves a weird filmy texture in your mouth.  While I do love the fact that I get to spit when eating watermelon, its just not enough of a redeeming quality to make me tolerate the fruit.  

Also like Sassy, keep the general melon family away from me.  Cantaloupe, honeydew?  No thank you!  I'll take summery berries any day over a piece of melon.

keep your filthy filmyness away from me!!!!!

 4.  Short Shorts - Who loves short shorts?  Girls with nice legs!  Who HATES short shorts?!?! ME!!!!  While a lot of words could be used to describe my legs, slender and sexy don't quite make the cut. 

BTW...I think that Bermuda shorts were the best thing to happen to me in fashion since, well, ever.  Hide my thighs AND still look kind of trendy?!?!?  Yes please!!!  

But in all honesty, I don't want people seeing all the way up to my leg-butt ( that's the technical term for the part of your body where your leg turns into your butt)!   Somethings should be private and your leg butt is one of them.

My point exactly.

All of this brings me to....

5.  Shaving - If there are any guys out there reading this, I offer up my apologies now.  Most of the guys I know seem to think that shaving is disgusting (but they also think that hairy legs are nasty, come ON guys!  You can't have it both ways).  

I'm a regular shaver, but my times per week frequency goes way up in the summer.  It makes my showers longer which makes my mornings more hectic which stresses me out which means I drink more coffee which means I'm more jittery which means I don't sleep as well which means I get going late and start shaving my legs late which just restarts the vicious cycle all over again.

The only time I find myself wishing for pants is in the summer when I have shaved my legs for the 4,000,000,000 th time that month (like today for example).

Well that's the long list (literally, I had to pull that last one out of my ass).  If you have your own things about summer that you can't stand from sunscreen to bug spray to fireworks to frozen yogurt feel free to complain about them here, even though I'm pretty sure its impossible to hate that last one.

Within the next few days weeks, I'll try to post the things I love most about summer, which is a long list - for real, part of me even likes sunburn!  

As always thanks for reading!

P.S. I just noticed that most of this is about my love/hate/uber complex relationship I have with my legs....maybe more on that one another day?!?!?

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