In My Mind I'm Going to Carolina

On Monday morning, I put the last of my things in my car, gave my key to my roommate, and said a tearful good-bye to the city that's been my home for the previous three years.  

When I first moved to Charleston, I didn't think I'd be in South Carolina long.  And I didn't think I'd become so attached to the Holy City.  But I was wrong on both counts and am having a hard time imagining my life away from the idyllic streets and cityscapes.  

For me, Charleston will always be the city where I found myself (or at the very least, started on that journey).  I know a lot of my feelings about Charleston relate back to the years of my life that I spent there.  I was 23 when I first moved to Charleston, I had no responsibilities and no commitments and was enrolled in a program where I met a lot of wonderful people who were a lot like me in some important ways.  

Strangely enough, I think I had the "college experience" in law school.  Even though the past three years were some of the most difficult and trying of my entire life academically, they were also some of the best years for personal growth and for my social well-being.  I made lifelong friends, found a passion, and started on what I hope will be a great career.

I could wax poetical about Charleston, but it is late at night and I'm afraid such ramblings will bring me to tears (again) so I'll keep it short.  August 2010, I quit my job, packed up everything I own, moved 400 miles away to a city where I knew exactly four people - my aunt, my uncle, and my two cousins - and had the best, most amazing, incredible, freaking time of my life.  And even though it was hard (it was so hard) I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

Have a great night y'all.

Adventures in Dating, Part 1

**Disclaimer: names of the dated have been changed to protect their anonymity.**

**Disclaimer 2: I don't talk about this part of my life a lot, so I'm taking a BIG leap of faith by posting this**

For those of you who know me in real life, you know I don't date much.  I've always had a lot of guy friends, but not a lot of boyfriends.  When I was still living at home and would get upset about being single, my mom would always tell me that I intimidated boys because I was loud and smart and funny.  To me this has always been a weird statement to handle.  I know that I'm loud; but the smart and funny comment are somewhat debatable.  And (for argument's sake) even if I am smart and funny, why wouldn't these things be qualities that a guy would look for in a girl?  And I'm not THAT loud.

When I was in high school I'd had a boyfriend.  We were pretty serious at graduation and went to the same college, so we kept on dating.  We were together through our first year at UVA and then the first semester of our second year.  For reasons I won't go into here, we broke up just after that second Christmas break.  To me, it happened suddenly; but I think he knew he wanted to end things for a while.  Because I was 19 and naive and had low self-esteem, I left that relationship broken.  I ate and cried and ate and cried and ate and cried.  Three months later I was 30 pounds heavier and only just starting to piece my life together.  Not only was I up about 4 pant sizes, but I also seriously doubted and despised everything about myself: I felt disgusting, ugly, stupid, undesirable, and hopeless.

Throughout the rest of college and when I was working, I'd fall head over heels for a guy only for him to fall head over heels for another girl or for the timing to not work out.  More often than not I was friend-zoned (yes this can happen to girls too).  Thankfully (or maybe ironically), law school saved me from this pattern.  True, I didn't date; but I also had a lot on my plate - there was a lot of studying, papers to write, exams to take - a ready excuse to the answer "why aren't you seeing anyone?"  It also didn't leave a lot of time to meet new people and most of the guys in my program were either married, seriously dating someone, or seriously not my type.

About a year ago I decided I was ready to take the plunge and start dating.  I went on a few first dates - some were ok, some were not.  I met some new people, gained some confidence, felt better about myself.  All positives.

Then I met Steve.  We met at a wedding.  We danced for most of the night and hung out at the after party.  I gave him my number and we texted a lot for a while.  He even took me out on New Year's.  Since we lived several states apart, we talked and texted a lot, but didn't see each other often/ever.  In the end it didn't work out.  But because of all the conversations and the interest that Steve showed me, I felt like I could be seen as interesting.

As things fizzled out with Steve, I met Nate.  Nate was in the class behind me at my law school and was a friend of a friend.  We met at a school function and wound up hanging out for the rest of the day.  He asked for my number and called a few days later to ask me out.  Nate and I got dinner and had a great first date.  He was sweet, funny, and very shy.  We hung out pretty regularly throughout the semester, but it was never serious.  Nate was always complimentary and paid me a lot of attention when I would run into him.  Even though nothing really happened between me and Nate, he made me feel attractive and desirable.  

The semi-relationship / romantically-tinged friendships I had with Steve and Nate made me feel better about myself than I had in years.  I finally could see myself in a relationship; finally believed that someone would actually want to date me.  After years and years of watching my friends fall in and out of love, I was finally ready to fall on my own.  

Then I met Henry.  

But that's a story for another day.  

Hello Blogosphere!

Hello?!?!  Is anyone out there?!?!  Probably not, but world, I'm BACK!  

Now it's been almost a year and a half since my last post...so I'll try to catch you up really quick.  I finished my 2L year, worked for a real estate firm in Virginia, worked for the mayor's office in Charleston, served as SBA Vice President, learned how to make some banging guacamole, got over my fear of public speaking, made a lot of new friends, hosted a bachelorette party, went back to Charlottesville, was a bridesmaid in one of my best friend's weddings, got an iPhone, served as SBA President, went to D.C., turned 26, found my mojo, rediscovered running, dated a little, studied for final exams, saw Kathie Lee and Hoda Live, enjoyed Charleston's night life, graduated from law school (!!!!), started studying for the bar exam, moved out of my downtown Charleston apartment, studied, moved in with a friend for the summer, studied, ran, studied, ran, developed a severe caffeine addiction, ran, studied, studied, ran, studied until I dreamt the law, studied until I didn't sleep, drove to Roanoke, studied, took the bar, drove back to Charleston, chopped off my hair, fell into a recovery coma, went to the Dominican Republic for a recovery vacation, caught up with old friends, and am now in the process of moving to Virginia and finding a full time, grown up job (you know the kind I'm talking about: one with benefits, a regular paycheck, and a demand for a professional wardrobe).

WHEW!  The past 18 months have been stressful, challenging, and amazing (well 15 - those 3 months of studying for the bar were hell on earth).  And now?  Well now I'm unemployed and attempting to enjoy my last few weeks in Charleston.  But if I can be completely honest, I don't really do tons of free time well.  I mean I have a great tan (product of my vacation and lots of hours by the pool/beach) and I'm doing a lot of reading (almost half-way through the last Game of Thrones book) and applying for A LOT of jobs, but other than that I have a lot of hours to fill.  And I think I should do something constructive, so I've rediscovered the blogsphere.

Now most of the events that I mentioned above probably deserve their own post.  But that's a promise I'm not quite willing to make.  But I will promise this.  I need to do something good with my free time.  So I'll write.  And just in case I don't get to these events, here are a few pictures to hold you guys over on some key events of the past 18 months:

I Got Over It!

Charleston is home to this bridge:

photo credit: here

Every year, Charleston closes down this bridge for the annual Cooper River Bridge Run.  Its a 10K and attracts about 40,000 runners.  Far and away bigger than any other race I've ever run.


In order to fully understand this story, we need to rewind a few months.  I was deep in my half marathon training and talking with my roommate when the topic of the Bridge Run came up.  She said she was going to run it and I quickly followed suit, never being one to be outdone.  


Flash forward to January when two important things happened.  First, we got our syllabus for the spring semester and had a MAJOR paper due the day before the run.  Second, I tried to run the bridge.  The bridge has a bike/walking path that's open for people to use on a daily basis.  One beautiful January afternoon in Charleston, I decided to take advantage of the nice weather and give that bridge the good old college try.  Not only would it help me with my half marathon training, but it would also help me get ready for the bridge run.


So off I go.  I drive over, park, pay for parking, and head for the bridge trail.  I continued onward (and upward) for about three minutes before panic set it...FEAR OF HEIGHTS!!!!  I was suddenly overcome with an overwhelming fear that I was going to lose my key, it would fall into the Cooper River and I would be stuck in Mt. Pleasant FOREVER.  I was worried that a car would fly over the guardrail and hit me.  I was afraid to run next to edge of the bridge for fear that it would suddenly collapse and I'd fall into the river.  I couldn't stand to be near the edge, so I ran in the bike lane which only made me afraid that I'd get hit by a bike, thrown onto the main road, where I'd quickly be hit by oncoming traffic.


Still, I was determined.  Onward, upward.  Constantly checking my watch.  Frantically trying not to hyperventilate.  I made it about two more minutes before I could FEEL THE CARS whizzing by and all paranoia and fear took over and forced me to turn back where I pledged I'd never run the bridge again.


Ok, so fast forward to April 1.  I'd just handed in the biggest paper of my academic career.  My nerves were shot and I hadn't been soundly sleeping like I usually do.  Needless to say I crashed into bed only to be awoken too soon thereafter for the damned bridge run.  It took about everything in me to wake up, get dressed and get to the starting line.  


Honestly, this was not the most fun race I'd ever run.  I felt queasy when I woke up in the morning.  My legs felt like lead.  But I kept them moving, one foot in front of the other.  Over the bridge.  Up and up and up.  I didn't look to the left or to the right and wound up taking pictures like this during the run:

But still I made it over.  It took me longer than I thought, but I finished the race.  I can't say that I'm proud of my time, but a lot of factors affect that.  But I can say that I'm proud that I faced my fear and made it over the bridge.  There's always next year to set a PR...

Adventures in South Cackalacky

I've now officially lived in South Carolina for exactly one week.  


It has been a crazy, crazy week.  At the risk of sounding really whiny and somewhat stupid, I'm going to say it: moving is hard!


I drove down last Friday with my parents.  I signed a lease and unloaded a van full of my stuff.  Then we unpacked all of that stuff and built furniture all weekend.  Luckily, my aunt lives less than a half an hour away, so we stayed at her place the entire weekend so we actually had beds to sleep in rather than just sleeping on the floor of my new apartment.


Since I've been in South Carolina:


I have spoken to my parents approximately 30 times.  They left Monday morning and they haven't called yet today.  They call a lot more frequently than they ever did when I was in college.  But feel free to infer what you will from that...


I got pulled over for the first time.  Sunday afternoon I took my dad into Charleston to see the school and we had lunch at a nearby restaurant.  As we were leaving I apparently ran a red light.  I say apparently, but I'm sure I really did.  One thing I've learned about Charleston is that the traffic lights are typically on the side of the street, not in plain sight (so if you're ever driving in Charleston, be careful and pay attention).  Anyways the cop was really nice and let me off with a warning because of my VA plates.  So thank you officer!






My cousin Kerry gave me a silly bandz....I would now fit in in middle school.

I have practically stopped eating healthy and exercising.  This is not good.  I NEED to find a Weight Watchers meeting and face the scale.  I know I'm going to be upset with how much weight I've gained in the past couple of weeks, but hopefully that will jumpstart my weight loss motivation.  I've come so far, I can't give up now.


I've had a lovely, lovely breakout of adult acne since I've moved down here.  I'm not sure if its because of the stress or the heat/sweat factor or the fact that I've eaten practically nothing besides grease since I've moved down here, but this is seriously the worst my face has looked since I was about 14.  I'm hoping beyond all hope that eating healthier will help it clear up, or at least that if I drink more water it will clear up, and clear up quickly.


Orientation starts tomorrow and I'm really excited about it.  I've always been kind of geeky and have always loved the first day of school.  I think it has something to do with all the new school supplies.  I'm also pretty psyched to meet all of my new classmates. 

oooohhhh

I'm Alive!

Just in case any of you are out there reading and wondering or are named Meredith and coincidentally also are my best friend, I am, in fact, alive and well.


The move to South Cackalacky went really well.  I'm still unpacking and am attempting to fully settle into a new apartment (and a new state) in about five days.  Its been a chaotic, hellish, exhausting week.  


I'll write more as soon as I'm able!